Before I start this, I need a disclimer. I usually never discuss polotics or religion publicly. It seems like there's a unwritten rule about it, like it'll kill a baby kitten somewhere if either are mentioned...I dunno. But ima do it anyway, for this time only. I was listening to a song earlier that got me thinking. Everything is a test. We're living in hell trying to make it to heaven...I truly believe it. As beautiful as this world appears to be, most of it is just an illusion to trap you into thinking that this life is something that it's not. There's beautiful landmarks, beaches, oceans, and just nature period. But there's animals that'll kill you if you venture too far in the jungle.
There's beautiful women, but if they're too bad, you know how they act. That face and body is a disguise to lure you in and overlook what's really on the inside. That shit is evil.
There seems to be a constant threat of war in the news somewhere around the world.
There's poverty that can be fixed, but won't get done.
Money, sex, and drugs are glorified, but ruin people's lives.
People are hardly ever whom they appear to be. Secret agendas n shit. Alterior motives that's hidden behind a friendly hanshake or smile. I remember reading a quote not too long ago that said "sometimes the person you'd take a bullet for is the one behind the trigger" Shit is deep!!!
Things are constantly distracting us on the daily, tempting us to make the easy decision to do bad. It's everywhere. It's easy to keep up a pattern of bullshit. Lying, cheating, and stealing to say the least. That's why I believe that someone is really looking down upon us watching our actions. And when we die, we'll either stay or go. If we go up, we'll be able to have clarity on everything we've went through to get there. If we stay, then things here will be revealed for what they really are. Just a quick thought though. I believe we have to prove to a higher power that we dn't belong here. We have every reason to do wrong, but there's something in us, for the people that have faith, actually blind faith, that we believe in this mythical place that no one has ever seen, but everybody has heard about. This place called heaven where shit is all good. Aight...that's all I got. Stay tuned for more soon. Hopefully.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Sunday night
11:59pm-1/15/2012
Seems like I'm having this struggle against myself to complete this book. I know I should have been writing a lot more, but lately I keep stopping myself whenever I'm about to get really deep on some shit. It's hard to write about yourself. Everything that I have down so far is completely honest, and I hardly let people know all of my business. The reasons behind why I do what I do. I know judgements are going to come, and believe it or not, I actually care what some people think about me. You can say you don't, but I'll be honest and admit to it. Different friends know different things about me, but only few know everything that there is to know, and they still don't know all there is to know. Somethings have to be kept private, and a few names have changed, but it's all real. Maybe I be too high on some thoughts and start going crazy writing on them, come down off my high a bit, and be like, "oh shit!! She's gonna kill me if I put that out there." Or I'll come down from another one and it doesn't seem as interesting to write about. Like who the fuck would want to hear about that shit? I just need to buckle down and get on a consistent pattern. Also keep my pad or cell handy to save a good thought when it comes to me. Hopefully it all comes together the right way into something beautiful. Seriously. Maybe I should write too much while I'm high. Then again, I'm hella faded right now off some shit I got from my weed lady...so scratch that idea. I don't want to rush everything and not do it right, but I still need to get this done for myself because i said I would. The only thing really getting in the way is me. People ask me if I'm planning to sell the book....fuck yeah I am. Money isn't the motivation though. I mean it is, but it's not the reason I'm doing this. I mean, I got a little something for a rainy day, can super size a chick's meal any day of the week, and keep fresh fit on, but I'm nowhere near paid. Paid like, "Bitch you wanna take take the drop top or the helicopter to KFC? Them new wings are fire!" Or paid like, "Let's go buy a horse. I almost teared up when I watched Secretariet. So I need a horse now." Paid like that. Don't let me get on Seabiscuit though, that was my nigga. Anyway, I'm getting off subject, my high is coming down, and I need to find my remote and get it off this weak ass softcore porn shit on Cinemax. Maybe I'll actually keep this blog going too, but I'll see about that. it should actually help me clear my head a bit. That's all I got, but stay tuned. I'll post more, at random times, but whenever it comes to me I guess. I've just always needed to do things at my own pace. So....later.
Seems like I'm having this struggle against myself to complete this book. I know I should have been writing a lot more, but lately I keep stopping myself whenever I'm about to get really deep on some shit. It's hard to write about yourself. Everything that I have down so far is completely honest, and I hardly let people know all of my business. The reasons behind why I do what I do. I know judgements are going to come, and believe it or not, I actually care what some people think about me. You can say you don't, but I'll be honest and admit to it. Different friends know different things about me, but only few know everything that there is to know, and they still don't know all there is to know. Somethings have to be kept private, and a few names have changed, but it's all real. Maybe I be too high on some thoughts and start going crazy writing on them, come down off my high a bit, and be like, "oh shit!! She's gonna kill me if I put that out there." Or I'll come down from another one and it doesn't seem as interesting to write about. Like who the fuck would want to hear about that shit? I just need to buckle down and get on a consistent pattern. Also keep my pad or cell handy to save a good thought when it comes to me. Hopefully it all comes together the right way into something beautiful. Seriously. Maybe I should write too much while I'm high. Then again, I'm hella faded right now off some shit I got from my weed lady...so scratch that idea. I don't want to rush everything and not do it right, but I still need to get this done for myself because i said I would. The only thing really getting in the way is me. People ask me if I'm planning to sell the book....fuck yeah I am. Money isn't the motivation though. I mean it is, but it's not the reason I'm doing this. I mean, I got a little something for a rainy day, can super size a chick's meal any day of the week, and keep fresh fit on, but I'm nowhere near paid. Paid like, "Bitch you wanna take take the drop top or the helicopter to KFC? Them new wings are fire!" Or paid like, "Let's go buy a horse. I almost teared up when I watched Secretariet. So I need a horse now." Paid like that. Don't let me get on Seabiscuit though, that was my nigga. Anyway, I'm getting off subject, my high is coming down, and I need to find my remote and get it off this weak ass softcore porn shit on Cinemax. Maybe I'll actually keep this blog going too, but I'll see about that. it should actually help me clear my head a bit. That's all I got, but stay tuned. I'll post more, at random times, but whenever it comes to me I guess. I've just always needed to do things at my own pace. So....later.
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